I know it's been quite a while since I last updated. A lot has been going on and I've wanted to write, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. But I am determined that this year I am going to more consistently write. So, I'm starting the year off on the right foot!
New Year's is one of my favorite times of the year. I love the newness of it. I love looking ahead at the year and seeing a blank slate. Knowing that I have the power to determine how it will be filled. I love the fresh start that it brings, the chance to set new goals. In the past I have made a list of several goals that I want to accomplish in the new year. These goals ranged from reading a certain number of books to eating healthy to writing a certain number of letters each month. While making goals like this can be a good thing, several years ago I stopped making goals. Instead, I chose one word to focus on for the whole year. This word drives my goal setting. It helps me focus on an idea rather than something I have to do. It's not something I can perfect so I don't feel like such a failure when I forget.
Several months ago, God brought a word to my mind and I instantly knew it would be my word for 2016. The word is joy. Honestly, joy is something I have not experienced a lot of lately.
When we first moved to New Mexico I was full of excitement over all the new things we were going to do and place we were exploring. I didn't mind all of the time home alone with the kids. But after a while I started to sink into monotony. First I got bored, then I got frustrated and discouraged. I stopped making the most of my time and instead gave in to self-pity. I wasn't finding joy in my family and I wasn't doing things that brought me joy. And things got worse and worse. I was so focused on myself and how much I miss my friends and family at home that I was missing out on the wonderful things that are right here in front of me. I'm sure this is all a normal part of adjusting to such a drastic move, but it's not how I want to live my life.
So I have decided to choose joy. Instead of focusing on all that I miss about our old life "back home," I'm going to focus on the wonderful new experiences I have here. I'm going to stop worrying about all the things I "should" be doing and start spending more time doing the things that bring me joy. Things like reading. And writing. Baking. Playing games. I will never be okay with my husband being gone 11 hours every day, but I get to choose how I spend that time with my children. I'm going to spend it doing things that I enjoy. Coloring with them. Doing puzzles. Going on adventures.
Joy is a choice. I get to choose my attitude. I'm not saying that it's going to be easy. I know that some days will end in a big pity part. And that's okay because I will give myself grace. But I don't want to miss out on this time that I have. I want to have fun and enjoy this life that I've been given. I want to laugh more. And I am looking forward to seeing all that 2016 has in store for me.